Honoring Fathers With Dementia: Adapting Father’s Day Celebrations to Your Loved One’s Changing Needs

June 14, 2025

Submitted by Beth Rush
Founder and Managing Editor
Body+Mind Magazine

We Should Consider Honoring Our Fathers and Father Figures Daily, Not Just On Father’s Day.

Father’s Day may not look the way it used to if your dad is living with dementia, Alzheimer’s disease, or other dementias — but that doesn’t mean it has to lose meaning. You can still honor him in ways that feel personal and loving by meeting him where he is today and adapting traditions with care.

Focus on the Moment, Not the Memory

Your dad may not realize it’s Father’s Day. He might not remember what day of the week it is. However, that doesn’t mean your time with him doesn’t matter. People with dementia live in the present and can still feel joy, calm, and comfort, even when memories fade.

This year, release the pressure to make it memorable. Instead, focus on making it meaningful in the moment.

Here are some ideas to try:

Play music from his younger years: Create a playlist with songs from his teens or early adulthood. Even advanced dementia patients often respond to music — it can spark emotions, movement and even conversation.
Share a favorite dessert or treat: Ice cream, pudding or cookies can bring comfort and even nostalgia. Focus on textures and flavors he enjoys now.

Adapt the Day to His Current Abilities

What your dad can comfortably do depends on his stage of dementia and overall health. Choose activities that match his current abilities, without overstimulating or overwhelming him.

If he’s still physically mobile, light movement is a great option. If he tires easily, shorter periods of interaction with quiet breaks are best.

Try these activities:

Nature walk or time in the yard: Being outdoors — even briefly — can help lower stress hormones like cortisol and promote a sense of calm. Walk slowly through a park, sit on a bench under a tree or water plants together. Just 10-15 minutes in nature can make a big difference.
Fold laundry together: Many people with dementia find comfort in repetitive tasks. Folding towels, sorting socks or arranging small items can help him feel helpful and engaged.
Do a simple craft: You might color in an adult coloring book together or try a low-mess activity like modeling clay. Stick to things that don’t require fine motor skills or too many steps.

Use Photos and Stories Thoughtfully

Photos can be a great way to connect, but how you present them matters. Instead of asking your dad if he remembers something — which can cause stress if he doesn’t — just tell a brief story or observation about what’s in the picture.

You could create a “memory lane” slideshow or scrapbook and include labels. Use large print and clear images. Instead of quizzing him on memories, tell him stories. For example, “This is from the time you taught me how to ride a bike,” rather than “Do you remember teaching me to ride?”

Keep Gatherings Low-Key

Large gatherings can be disorienting or overstimulating. Keep the environment calm and familiar. Soft lighting, familiar smells and minimal background noise help reduce anxiety. If other family members want to see him, space out the visits or keep them short.

Here are some suggestions:

Plan a small meal: Keep it quiet and slow-paced. Finger foods or a simple favorite dish can be enough.
Create a quiet zone: Set up a cozy chair with a blanket, soft music and a favorite book or object nearby in case he needs a break.
Let visitors know what to expect: Explain how he’s doing and offer tips like avoiding corrections, speaking slowly and not taking it personally if he doesn’t recognize someone.

Watch for Nonverbal Cues

Your dad might not always be able to say exactly how he feels, so keep an eye on body language. If he seems restless, distracted or withdrawn, it could mean he’s tired or overstimulated. Responding to his cues patiently, rather than pushing through your plans, builds trust and avoids stress.

Modify Old Traditions

You don’t have to give up meaningful traditions — you just need to adjust them to suit his needs. If your dad used to love fishing, maybe now you can drive to a quiet lake and sit on the shore together for a while. If he used to love grilling, bring him a plate of some grilled food and enjoy it side by side.

Here are some ways to adapt traditions:

Watch a game together: If he used to love sports, watch a recorded game or clips from past seasons. Sit beside him and comment occasionally.
Do a “mock” cookout: Grill some food at home or get takeout from his favorite place. Sit outside and recreate the vibe with fewer steps and less pressure.
Take a scenic drive: Drive past familiar places or old spots — his old neighborhood, the beach or a nearby lake. Narrate what you see and give him time to take it in.

Keep the Environment Calm and Supportive

Avoid noisy gatherings or crowded places. Background noise, multiple conversations and fast movement can cause confusion or anxiety. Aim for a calm, quiet setting with soft lighting and minimal distractions. A peaceful environment can keep your dad engaged and comfortable.

Let Him Teach You Something

Many people with dementia still enjoy the feeling of being needed or helpful. A meaningful way to honor that is by asking him to show you something he used to know well. It could be how to fold a napkin, tie a knot or talk through a simple home task.

Let Yourself Feel What You Feel

You might feel sadness, guilt, or even frustration. That’s normal. You’re navigating through a tough situation and doing your best. Father’s Day can bring up a mix of emotions, especially if your dad no longer acts like the man you remember. Give yourself permission to feel it all without judging yourself. Talk to a friend, journal, or simply take a quiet moment for yourself. Your emotions are part of the day, too.

Involve Other Family Gently

If siblings or grandkids want to take part, help them understand what your father can handle. Short visits, soft voices, and calm energy are best. Prep younger children ahead of time. Let them know Grandpa might not remember their names, but he still enjoys their company. A bit of planning can make the group dynamic much smoother.

Keep Your Expectations Flexible

Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that things might not go according to plan — and that’s OK. Your dad might be sleepy, distracted, or confused on the day. People with dementia thrive on a set routine as it brings order to their often confusing world. Try to go with their flow rather than forcing specific plans.

Instead of focusing on how long your visit lasts or how much he remembers, focus on simply being present. A few minutes of quiet connection or shared smiles are deeply meaningful. Father’s Day isn’t about doing everything perfectly — you just need to show up with love.

Celebrate the Relationship That Still Exists

Even if he can’t say “I love you” or recognize your face, your presence still matters. Your time, patience, and care are powerful ways to say “thank you” and “I love you” on Father’s Day.

A Father’s Day Reimagined

Father’s Day might not look the way it once did, but that doesn’t mean it’s any less meaningful. It’s about presence, patience, and adapting with grace to where your father is now. Whether he remembers the occasion or not, you can still make him feel loved, comforted, and connected.

Beth Rush
Founder and Managing Editor
Body+Mind Magazine

Beth Rush is the mindfulness editor at Body+Mind. She writes about caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease. She also shares tips for coping with c-PTSD, PCOS, and climate anxiety. Her goal is to encourage readers to live their best lives. Subscribe to the Body+Mind Newsletter for more posts by Beth.