Ten Ideas to Make a Visit Enjoyable

February 5, 2025February 6, 2025

Submitted By Nancy R. Poland
Graces Message

When my dad had advanced Lewy body dementia he lived in a nursing home for 16 months. At visits, I would ask myself, “What can I do to make this visit enjoyable for Dad and me?” I tried different ideas, some successful, other times he appeared oblivious. Since then, in my studies of caregiving resources, I have come across more ideas. In this article, you will find ten ideas for making a visit with a family member, friend, or neighbor enjoyable for them and you. This is primarily written for people with dementia; however, these ideas can work for others who are elderly or disabled. Bring joy, fun, and flexibility on your visit.

Capability & Attitude

First, you will need to consider their level of capability. People in the early stages of dementia will be able to participate in different activities than someone in the later stages. Do not be surprised if their abilities change from one visit to the next. Do your best.

One more piece of advice – bring a cheerful outlook. Did you have a difficult day, or are you sad about their condition? Your loved one will be able to sense your attitude, so as the old song says, “Put on a Happy Face.” And just maybe you will leave with a true smile on your face.

Ten Ideas

Music. People at any stage can enjoy music, especially in the genre they have enjoyed in the past. I recently published a short talk called “Bringing Light to Dementia with Music and Art.” (Click on the link.) In this talk, you can learn about how music lives deeply in the brain, and how it can elevate moods, influence behavior, and leave positive memories about your interaction. You can easily bring music with you anywhere on your phone or tablet. If your person is in a care home, there may be concerts you can attend with them.
In this same article in #1, I wrote about art, which can help people be calm, focused, and feel creative. What types of art could you share? There are many choices, from simply looking at pictures, to creating drawings, working with soft clay, assembling a model car, or arranging flowers. On the website Keeping Busy, you can find art kits specifically for dementia patients. You can also order these kits on Amazon.com, or go to your local craft store for ideas. Here on Alzheimer’s Speaks find many stories about how people with dementia have benefited from art.,
Cooking and baking. If you visit someone in their home, they may be able to help you make meals, assemble sandwiches, or make snacks. In the book, A Thief in the Pantry: A Love Story Through Loss, Resolve, Grief, Faith, and Victory as Alzheimer’s Strikes by my friend Marv Eppard, he talks about a neighbor who would visit his wife with Alzheimer’s and bring pre-made cookie dough. Together they would put the cookies on the pan and bake them. An added advantage is the good smell of cookies.
Do a little research ahead of time to find the type of video appropriate for your visit. YouTube has short and long videos, and there are many streaming services. Your friend or family member may enjoy comedy, animals, or stories. If they are a sports fan, there are plenty of sports-related videos – some will leave you both laughing. Even if you are not sure they understand the content, you are doing something together that may leave a positive impression.
Have a little fun on your visit! The Alz Store, a family-owned business, has board games, puzzles, activity boxes, and more especially designed for those with dementia. Look around your house – do you have a small ball you could toss or roll, dominoes, or easy puzzles to bring on a visit? The website The Key lists 30 Activities for Older Adults with Dementia. Many of these items can be utilized multiple times.
At times when I visited my dad in the nursing home, I would bring a book to read aloud. He loved poetry, Christian books, and the Bible. I do not know how much he understood later in his dementia, but it was a way for us to connect, and it calmed him.
Touching communicates so much to a person, even if they cannot verbally communicate. Rub lotion on their hands, comb their hair, or simply hold their hand when you are talking. We would groom our dad when we visited him, shaving, and trimming his hair. Gentle human touch can say more than words.
While the sense of smell tends to diminish as people age, you can still find ways to touch memories by using scents (be aware of allergens.) Flowers, scented lotions, fresh brewed coffee, or fresh baked cinnamon rolls put off lovely smells. You could even try dipping cotton balls in essential oils, cloves, cinnamon, etc. I believe any stimulation like this will help the brain.
Scrapbooks and photo albums. If a family member is in the early stages of dementia and can remember family members, work with them to write down names and the relation of your family members. Or make a simple scrapbook of their history to share with visitors, or with staff should they end up in a care home. Just looking at old scrapbooks and photo albums can be a great activity as your loved one progresses in their disease. They may remember photos of their childhood more than recent ones!
Repetitive activities. People with cognition problems may enjoy repetitive activities. This could include sweeping, folding towels, washing tables, or making sandwiches. They may be able to participate in community volunteer activities. People like to feel useful. Pay attention if you see them doing something repetitive you could encourage.

Go Forward!

Next time you visit someone with dementia, go armed with a plan to have fun. Review these ten ideas and select one or two that may work. Be flexible, and even if it seems you have not made an impact you will have tried. And how can we go wrong by adding a little fun, making a connection, and stimulating their senses? You can leave with a smile on your face by bringing light to someone deserving of joy.

Visit my website, www.gracesmessage.com for more caregiving resources.

Final note: I do not endorse any business; the references are for informational purposes.

Nancy R. Poland
Graces Message

Nancy R. Poland shares her passion for helping caregivers, live with grace and hope. Her website for a wealth of information for caregivers. It provides tailored resources, highlights of her books, hope for those who have experienced loss, valuable insights regarding dementia, improving senior’s lives, health care news, and more. Nancy also shares a personal page on loss that has resources for processing grief.