THE BOX TO THE LEFT: USING REMINISCENCE TO HELP DECLUTTER A LIVING SPACE
Submitted by Lori K. Yauch
M.A., CCC-SLP
Owner/Manager
Meaningful Memory Maker
“To the left, to the left, everything you own in the box to the left.” (Songwriters: Amund Bjorklund, Beyonce Knowles, Espen Lind, Mikkel Eriksen, Shaffer Smith, Tor Hermansen, 2006)
The Emotional Journey Of Decluttering
The emotional journey of decluttering, as captured in Beyoncé’s song ‘Irreplaceable,’ is familiar. It’s more than just sorting through possessions; it’s about deciding what to keep and let go. These decisions symbolize the emotional process of parting with cherished items, each with a unique story.
A Lifetime of Memories in a Box
Imagine a lifetime of possessions and memories that could be neatly packed into a single box. What if this box could accompany us through all of life’s adventures? Unfortunately, a life filled with generational memories (from great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, and siblings) rarely fits in one box.
The idea of one box being inadequate to hold my ‘things’ is particularly true as I prepare not only to move to another state but down-size
from a ranch-style home to a one-bedroom apartment. This process concerns physical space and the emotional weight of letting go of items that hold cherished memories. I feel the struggle and the sentiment attached to each item. Holding the broken porcelain music box, my mother gave me, I hear her singing, ‘You are always in my heart, even though we’re far apart,’ and a flood of mixed emotions flows through me.
As I sift through a house full of ‘stuff’ – one drawer at a time, I see it as an opportunity for growth and change. It’s not just about letting go but also about making space for new memories and experiences. Looking at it from that perspective, I feel excited about a new future filled with the anticipation of creating new memories.
Each item I pull from the over-crowded closets or the back of a dresser/desk drawer carries its own story, evoking memories I hadn’t thought about in years. A receipt from the purchase of my grandmother’s parakeet, her first credit card (in my grandfather’s name), every birthday card my mother ever received), the broken music box surprises me, makes me laugh, and may even promote a tear. It’s a bittersweet experience, parting with these items that hold so much history. I was so moved by the loss of the music box that I had to replace it.
This feeling of loss and sadness strikes me as my siblings and I go from room to room and share these memories. If we hadn’t waited 35 years to explore my mother’s treasures if we had purged our home(s) with each move (from my childhood home to a condo my mother and I shared, and finally to the Florida home we shared for 17 years), my mother would have shared her memories of all those birthdays and the excitement of seeing her mother’s first department store credit card, (that just happened to be my mother’s favorite store), not to mention the painstaking choices she made to find that perfect music box.
As I reflect on the emotional journey of sorting through a lifetime of memories, I can’t help but think about families who are navigating similar challenges, especially those caring for loved ones with dementia. Decluttering a living space can often feel like a daunting and traumatic task, mainly when the familiarity of cherished items is crucial for individuals with memory loss. However, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone on this journey. There’s a community of people facing similar challenges, and I would like to share my thoughts on making the process less traumatic and more meaningful.
Reminisce While You Declutter
Decluttering can be transformed into an opportunity for reminiscence and connection. As families declutter, they can engage their loved ones in conversations about the items being sent. Each piece can spark stories and moments from the past, creating a shared experience that honors the memories tied to those belongings and strengthens the bond between family members. To make the process more manageable, consider setting aside specific times for decluttering, starting with less emotionally charged areas or items and seeking support from other family members.
As you reach for that box in the back of the hall closet and find the ballerina music box that plays ‘Greensleeves’ and holds your first bracelet, take the opportunity to reminisce with Mom. These shared
experiences are about the objects, moments, and emotions they evoke, reminding both of you that shared memories have immense value.
Similarly, the first prom dress, with its lace fabric, intricate details, white gloves, and a simple strand of pearls, holds whispers of youthful anticipation. Share in Mom’s excitement as she tells stories about her prom date and the waltz, or jitterbug, on the dance floor, the laughter of friends, and the wonderful music of her time from Frank Sinatra to Frankie Valli. Be sure to play some of these familiar tunes as you reminisce. With its unique ability to evoke emotions and memories, music can support communication and be a catalyst for various shared memories of concerts, parties, and even sing-a-longs on family vacations.
Then there’s the engagement ring, a symbol of love and commitment, its presence rich with stories of heartwarming proposals and the promise of a shared future. As you look at it with Mom and see it sparkle 
in the light, encourage stories about the proposal, the ceremony, the reception, and the joy of a future together. These stories and memories are not just about the ring but about the depth of love and commitment they represent. It also serves as a reminder that simple objects can possess profound emotional significance.
In another box, you may find the “baby things.” The books, the shoes, 
the dresses, the first toy or doll – spend time here as you read through the book, recalling all the “firsts” – first steps, words, teeth, etc. Allow Mom to hold the baby’s clothes and shoes and tell the story of when you took your first steps.
Take Time for a Walk Up Reminiscence Avenue with Photos
As the decluttering and reminiscing moves from jewelry to clothes, music, and babies, be sure to find that box of photo albums and all those wonderful family photos that
preserve all these beautiful memories. Each of these items carries its own story intertwined with the threads of your life together. They remind you that while you must let go of physical possessions, the memories and experiences they represent remain in your heart. Holding and sharing these items with loved ones connects you to the past, igniting the beauty of shared moments and the enduring bonds of love that define a well-lived life. While possessions can be meaningful, the memories, experiences, and relationships you share hold value. So, embrace the journey to simplify your loved one’s life, one story at a time.
As you reminisce about the possessions that have shaped your lives and the memories they hold, it’s also essential to recognize how these treasures impact your loved ones’ living spaces. While each item carries a story, consider the broader impact that keeping them may have on the living environment.
Decluttering The Physical Space
When transitioning from the sentimental journey of decluttering cherished individual items, shift your focus to the physical spaces they
occupy —creating wide-open spaces and reducing clutter honors the past while enhancing the present. This shift promotes a more serene home, ultimately fostering a sense of security and ease for everyone. By letting go of items that no longer serve a purpose, you pave the way for a more harmonious living environment.
Additionally, reducing the number of items in the home can help make the living space more navigable, decreasing the risk of injuries, which is particularly beneficial for individuals with dementia. This practical aspect of decluttering can significantly improve caregivers’ and loved ones’ daily lives.
Ultimately, decluttering can foster a sense of peace and clarity, allowing caregivers and their loved ones to cherish the past while embracing a more manageable future. Families can create physical and emotional room for healing and connection by approaching this process with intention and love. So, as you embark on your decluttering journey, remember that it’s not just about clearing out space but about making room for new memories and strengthening the bonds of love that define your family.
