Tips for Reducing Overwhelm for Loved Ones with Dementia During the Holidays

October 19, 2025

Submitted by Beth Rush
Founder and Managing Editor
Body+Mind Magazine

For someone living with dementia, it can be overwhelming

and cause them to lose their sense of time, place, and safety.

The holidays can bring joy, laughter and connection. However, families living with dementia, Alzheimer’s disease, and other dementias like aphasia may experience an increase in confusion, anxiety and heartbreak. The bright lights, loud gatherings and shifting routines feel festive to some, but for someone living with dementia, it can be overwhelming and cause them to lose their sense of time, place, and safety. The good news is that with a few mindful adjustments, you can create a gentler holiday experience that preserves comfort and connection for everyone.

1. Prepare Yourself and the Family First

Before the first guest arrives, prepare emotionally and logistically. Acknowledge that things will be different, and that’s OK. Share information with relatives and friends ahead of time. Explain your loved one’s current needs, triggers and communication limits with practical examples.

When others know what to expect, they’re less likely to take things personally if your loved one withdraws, repeats questions or seems distant. Try to model calmness, even when situations feel stressful. Your steadiness helps set the tone for everyone else.

2. Do a Comfort Check

A soothing environment is one of the simplest ways to prevent distress. Think soft lighting instead of flashing decorations, familiar music at a low volume and cozy textures that feel safe to touch. Avoid overpowering scents from candles or cooking, which can cause disorientation.

Make sure your loved one’s comfort is prioritized. Do a basic check before guests arrive, such as whether they’re hungry, cold, tired, need a diaper change or feel thirsty. Use clothing layers to adjust for temperature changes, ensure easy access to the restroom, and prepare a quiet corner with their favorite blanket or recliner. Sometimes, peace comes in small details.

3. Create Stability and Structure

People living with dementia thrive on routine. Even during the holidays, consistent wake-up times, meals and rest breaks can help them feel grounded. If guests visit, let your loved one know who is coming and when.

Designate a calm space to which they can retreat if overwhelmed. A familiar chair by the window, a room with soft lighting or a recliner with a lightly scented blanket can become a sanctuary when the day feels too full. If you’re hosting, aim to schedule meals and activities earlier in the day to prevent evening agitation.

4. Simplify Traditions

Traditions don’t have to disappear. You can adapt them.

Instead of expecting your loved one to cook a full meal or host guests, give them gentle, familiar tasks. They can fold napkins, stir sauce or help arrange cookies. These small contributions keep them engaged without pressure.

Keep dietary habits consistent, especially if you’ve made changes for their health. Some research suggests that gluten sensitivity may worsen neurological symptoms by affecting the gut-brain connection. If your loved one follows a gluten-free plan, don’t reintroduce it during the holidays. Stick with comfort foods like sweet potato that feel safe and familiar, or serve mashed potatoes, soft vegetables and simple gluten-free sauces. The goal is enjoyment, not disruption.

5. Encourage Participation on Their Terms

Festivities can be joyful without being exhausting. Let your loved one decide how much to join in. They may want to hum along to carols or watch family videos instead of chatting with a crowd.

Meaningful activities like decorating a small tree, sorting ornaments or listening to favorite music can help them stay connected. These moments foster dignity and belonging, especially when they can do it at their own pace.

Remember that engagement doesn’t always mean doing. Sometimes, simply being together in quiet companionship is enough.

6. Practice Clear and Gentle Communication

As verbal skills fade, your tone and body language become powerful tools. Speak slowly, using short sentences and warm eye contact. Give time for responses, as their silence isn’t confusion — it’s processing.

Avoid correcting or finishing their sentences, which causes embarrassment. Instead, listen with empathy and respond to the emotion behind their words. A gentle touch on the hand or a calm smile often communicates more than words can.

When frustration rises, redirect rather than argue. Move the focus to a pleasant memory or activity like looking through photo albums. Connection rather than correction is what calms.

7. Redirect and Reassure

If your loved one seems anxious or agitated, the first step is to validate their feelings. Try saying, “Mom, you seem worried. Can I make you a cup of tea?” Combine acknowledgement with a soothing activity or treat.

Simple sensory distractions can help. To rebalance their mood, they can listen to soft music, eat a snack, pet their favorite animal or take a brief walk to admire holiday lights in the garden. Sometimes, a familiar smell or object like a scarf or family ornament can help them feel grounded in the moment again.

8. Ask for Help When You Need It

Caregiving doesn’t stop during the holidays, but you don’t have to do it alone. If you’re hosting a gathering, consider hiring a part-time nurse or respite caregiver for the day. Doing so gives you time to enjoy your family without feeling like the constant “gatekeeper.”

Friends and relatives often want to help but aren’t sure how. Give them clear roles, such as placing one person in charge of your loved one’s refreshments while another can watch the noise levels or sit quietly with them when you need a break.

Taking breaks doesn’t make you neglectful. It keeps you strong enough to give your best care.

9. Make Little Adjustments for a Big Difference

The smallest environmental changes can prevent the biggest periods of overwhelm. Try out the following:

Skip noisy gift wrap: Use gift bags or fabric wrapping instead of crinkly paper that may startle and confuse your loved one.
Include the kids, but keep them calm: Explain that their grandparent may need quiet, and encourage them to show love by drawing, singing softly or reading a story together.
Respect personal space: Not everyone enjoys hugs or sudden touch, so always ask before embracing.
Use comfortable objects: Some people living with dementia appreciate the comfort of a stuffed animal, doll or therapy pet, which brings peace when their world becomes overstimulating.
Play familiar music: Gentle, recognizable tunes can help with mood and anxiety while creating a sense of normalcy.

Why Holidays and Dementia Are Tough

Festive times invite nostalgia, with smells from the kitchen, favorite songs and the sound of wrapping paper tearing. These are powerful emotional triggers, but for someone living with dementia, they can spark confusion instead of joy. The combination of sensory overload and disrupted routine can quickly lead to agitation and fear.

A poorly understood challenge families face is ambiguous loss, or the emotional grief of having a loved one physically present but mentally distant. Seeing them there and not fully “there” simultaneously can feel like living in two worlds at once.

During holidays, this grief intensifies. Familiar rituals can highlight what’s changed. Maybe your mom no longer remembers the recipe she taught you, or your father forgets the names of visiting relatives. That sense of absence when presence matters so much can bring a quiet sadness to what should be a cheerful setting. Recognizing this loss is the first step in easing it.

Other dementia challenges include the impact of aphasia. This condition can make communication difficult, as loved ones begin to lose the ability to understand what people say to them or what they say in response, and feel frustrated. Busy gatherings make this challenge much worse.

Sundowning struggles worsen when festive gatherings stretch from early afternoon into the evening. As daylight fades, those with dementia may experience rising confusion, agitation and anxiety. Your usually agreeable loved one can become overstimulated and restless, pacing or feeling disoriented.

Managing and alleviating their distress requires planning, preparation, and the entire family’s support. Whether you’re the designated caregiver or not, you should involve everyone in your preparations and discuss how to make the holidays easier for all, including the person living with dementia.

Lighten the Holiday Feeling

Even with the best planning, holidays may still carry emotional weight. You may find yourself grieving the way things used to be, feeling guilty for not doing enough and even resenting the invisible load of caregiving when exhaustion becomes too much. Those feelings are normal and valid. Try reframing celebrations as opportunities for connection with your loved one and others who want to help you, if you let them and show them how.

A short visit filled with laughter is more valuable than a long day of stress, so work with family and friends to make the festive season special for everyone, including your loved one living with dementia. If your emotions feel too heavy, reach out for support. Local Alzheimer’s or dementia resource groups, faith communities, and online caregiver forums can offer understanding and practical advice. Sometimes, simply hearing, “Me too,” is enough to help you breathe again.

Beth Rush
Founder and Managing Editor
Body+Mind Magazine

Beth Rush is the mindfulness editor at Body+Mind. She writes about caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s disease. She also shares tips for coping with c-PTSD, PCOS, and climate anxiety. Her goal is to encourage readers to live their best lives. Subscribe to the Body+Mind Newsletter for more posts by Beth.