Get Your Affairs in Order Now and Your Loved Ones Will Thank You Later

Submitted by Author Sonya Jury

Mom Forgot My Birthday

Caregiving comes with a mountain of anxiety and guilt, but waiting until a crisis happens only makes things harder on everyone involved. If you truly love your family, you should start working to get your affairs in order now so they have less to worry about and figure out later.

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When my mother’s husband, Walt, passed away, I stepped into the role of primary caregiver for my mother, Dean, who was living with Alzheimer’s. Nothing prepares you for that sudden shift. In Chapter 17 of my memoir, Mom Forgot My Birthday: A Daughter’s Journey Through Alzheimer’s, I give a full rundown of all of the accounts, records, and information I had to hunt down while navigating that grief and transition.

Caregiving comes with a mountain of anxiety and guilt, but waiting until a crisis happens only makes things harder on everyone involved. If you truly love your family, you should start working to get your affairs in order now so they have less to worry about and figure out later.

Compile a Centralized List and Share it with Someone You Trust

• Financial & Legal: IRAs, titles, bonds, stocks, bank accounts, life insurance, insurance policies, wills, and Durable Power of Attorney
• Medical & Personal: Prescriptions, Social Security details, social media and general account logins, and funeral wishes
• Contacts: A comprehensive list of people and companies that will need to be notified in the event of a death

Pro-Tip for Digital Estates: Closing online accounts can be overwhelming. Resources like Everplans offer direct links and instructions for closing over 230 different online accounts and services.

Create or Update Your Power of Attorney Documents

My mom and Walt had signed a Durable Power of Attorney, but they had only designated each other. When Walt passed and my mother’s cognitive capacity declined, she was legally unable to make decisions, and no back-up was named. I was left in a position where I needed to care for her but lacked the immediate legal authority to do so.

Don’t make this mistake! Ensure your Durable Power of Attorney names alternate agents in line in case the primary person becomes incapacitated. Once executed, give copies to the people who need them – especially primary care physicians so it is formally on file before it is needed.

Define What Quality of Life Means to You and Share it With Your Loved Ones

Have an honest conversation about what quality of life actually means to you with your loved ones. Ask yourself what dignity, comfort, and care look like at every stage. Having these hard conversations in advance takes that weight of guesswork off your family’s shoulders when difficult medical decisions have to be made.

You get to decide what you do with this one, big beautiful life – and getting your estate and care plan in order ensures your wishes are honored while protecting the people you love most.

For more insight into Sonya’s personal caregiving story and “how-not-to” lessons, check out her full interview on Alzheimer’s Speaks,

 

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Submitted by Author Sonya Jury

Mom Forgot My Birthday

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